New Long John Silver’s VR Headset Provides Immersive Deep-Frying Experience

LOUISVILLE, KY—Promising a fried-food adventure more exciting than any before it, a new Long John Silver’s virtual reality headset released this week will provide an immersive and unrivaled deep-frying experience, according to company officials. “With this cutting-edge technology, our customers will get a hyperrealistic, fish-eye view of what our pollock fillets and shrimp actually see when they’re being deep fried.” said the fast food chain’s CEO, Blain Shortreed, explaining that the $699 VR device not only simulates being battered and dipped in canola oil, but also what it’s like to be served up alongside hushpuppies and fries and eaten by sweating, overweight customers. “And it’s not just visuals—our multisensory interface allows for patrons to feel the burn of our scalding hot fryer and smell the rancid cod that’s been left out all day. It’s so lifelike you can even overhear our employees sneezing and saying, ‘Oh shit, I forgot to wash my hands again.’” At press time, Long John Silver’s was reportedly forced to stop offering the VR experience after confused restaurant-goers kept eating the headsets.