NBA's Eastern Conference Sends Four Players To All-Star Game

LAS VEGAS—With the teams comprising the NBA’s Eastern Conference a combined 18 games below .500, fans and coaches saw it fit to only send four players from the struggling division to this year’s NBA All-Star Game. “To fill out an entire roster would have been impossible,” said Eastern Conference head coach Eddie Jordan, who will play Gilbert Arenas, Dwayne Wade, LeBron James, and Chauncey Billups for the contest’s entire 48 minutes. “I mean, who else is out there? Shaq is old and hurt, Vince Carter can’t even get his team to .500, and I don’t even know who Chris Bosh is.” In order to make things fair, Jordan said, he is hoping that Western Conference coach Mike D’Antoni will fulfill Jordan’s request to give him one player from the Western squad, count all Eastern Conference baskets as three points, and for D’Antoni to not play any of his tall players.