Nation’s Sick Freaks Announce Plans To Get Off On That

NEW YORK—Moaning with pleasure as they revealed that this was exactly what Daddy needed, the nation’s sick freaks held a press conference Friday to announce their plans to get off on that. “Oh yeah, baby, that’s exactly the crazy shit that’ll ring our cherries,” said Carl Dabrowski, one of dozens of the nation’s perverted weirdos who went on to lick their lips and mutter under their breath, “Good, good, really fucking good,” as they rubbed an open palm over their own inner thigh. “Gimme some more of that nasty stuff you’re dishing out. Real sicko shit, y’know? Stuff that’d make some people puke. Not me, though. I like it. Oh God, yeah. Fucking got my number there, baby. I’m getting full up like a bull down there. Yum, yum, yum.” At press time, the nation’s sick freaks specified that by “that” they specifically meant Cat Sebastian’s steamy historical romance novel Unmasked By The Marquess.