Mueller Suddenly Pieces Together Solution To Russia Collusion Case While Watering Plants

WASHINGTON—Mumbling “my God” with a look of horror on his face, former special counsel Robert Mueller suddenly pieced together the solution to the Russia collusion case while watering his plants, sources confirmed Tuesday. “It can’t be—but of course!” said Mueller, who paid no mind to the watering can that had slipped from his grasp and clattered at his feet as the sight of a flowering shrub triggered a memory of glimpsing four words from an overlooked document that would have led to the immediate arrest of former President Donald Trump. “My tea rose plants…tea roses…tea…rose! But then how does that connect to…? Okay, but what about—oh, yes! Ah, I see. The answer’s been right in front of me this whole time! This changes everything!” At press time, Mueller had collapsed in the garden, clutching his heart.