More Businesses Offering Silver Fox Discounts To Seniors Who Still Got It

CINCINNATI—With the practice popping up everywhere from grocery stores to movie theaters, a new report confirmed Wednesday that more businesses have begun offering silver fox discounts to seniors who still got it. “We like to show a little appreciation to those of us who watched the moon landing but still look like they know their way around a woman,” said local restaurant owner Jordan Wilson, who offered anywhere between a 15% and 60% discount depending on how tantalizing the patron’s thick grey locks and wry grin appeared. “All they have to do is provide a photo ID proving they’re at least 65 years old and absolutely smoking. A Viagra prescription will also do. I just think it’s important that we take the time to honor and listen to our elders, since there’s so much they can teach us in bed.” At press time, Wilson added that average-looking elders could fuck off.