Mom Getting Pretty Good At Planning Funerals

LITTLE ROCK, AR—Noting the experienced hand with which she was able to put together a touching remembrance, family members confirmed Friday that area woman Dianne Melfi was getting pretty good at planning funerals. “At this point Mom is really in a groove when it comes to end of life arrangements—she’s already done price comparisons of nearby funeral homes to get the best rate and she’s memorized a half dozen solid casserole recipes to feed the mourners with,” said son Steve Melfi, 35, telling reporters that his mom was able to throw together a poignant slideshow of photos of the deceased with their family as though it was second nature. “By now, she’s in steady contact with the local paper’s editor and she can secure a primo spot on the front page of the obituary section within days of a family member’s death. And Mom really shines on the day of the funeral, too, never failing to break down sobbing at all the right parts. It’s really impressive!” Melfi added that he hoped his mom had written some of this stuff down or otherwise no one was going to have any clue what to do once she died.