Mascot Absolutely Reeks

SYRACUSE, NY—Saying that they probably never clean the thing, sources confirmed Friday that Syracuse University’s mascot Otto the Orange absolutely reeked as he wove his way in and out of stands. “Oh God, I can smell him from here; it’s like a mixture of body odor and piss,” said student Dave Wringer as the large polyester orange made its way up the aisle toward him, the heavy scent of sweat and mildew reportedly wafting all around the costume. “Get him away from me—he smells fucking awful. That’s clearly soda somebody spilled on his side, but I don’t know what that black shit caked on him is. He’s disgusting.” After making his way through the student section, the Orange was reportedly approached by a young fan hoping for a hug.