Man Who Has Clocked 137 Hours In RPG Can’t Believe He Has To Waste Precious Time Watching Cutscenes

CLEVELAND—Growing ever more frustrated as he found himself spending his 10th minute of the day on non-interactive animation designed to advance the game’s plot, gamer Kyle Pierce told reporters Monday that even after spending 137 hours playing Xenoblade Chronicles 2, he could not believe that he has to waste his valuable time watching cutscenes. “C’mon already—Enough crap about the Argentum Trade Guild or the World Tree or whatever and let me get back to spending my time on something that matters,” said Pierce, who has reportedly spent his entire day upgrading skills on his Xenoblade’s Affinity Chart, painstakingly selling items in advantageous shops, and running repetitive fetch missions to refine his Aux Cores. “Jesus, life is short, I can’t just sit around and listen to them bullshit about the Aegis War. It’s already 3:30, and it’s going to take me at least two hours to collect firewood for the Tranquility quest.” As of press time, Pierce, who rolled out of bed at 8 a.m. this morning for a day of uninterrupted gameplay, had thrown his controller in anger after entering a new area triggered a 45-second loading screen.