Man Hopes No One Can Tell He’s Bald Under Full Head Of Hair

GREAT FALLS, MT—Nervously readjusting his thick and healthy follicles, local man Mike Chesper told reporters Monday that he hoped no one could tell he was totally bald under his full head of hair. “I try to cover it up with my voluminous locks, but I’m worried it’s obvious that, beneath it all, I’m bald as can be,” said Chesper, who explained that his father went fully bald under his own thick head of hair before turning 30. “I’m getting to be a complete cue ball, and I can’t hide it with this luxuriant mane forever. I’m thinking about just shaving off my hair, but I’m worried I’ll look weird for a couple months until it all grows back even thicker.” At press time, Chesper admitted that the balding was much worse under the thicket of hair covering his crotch and asshole.