Man Cites Nature As Inspiration For Random Cruelty

GAINESVILLE, FL—Local resident Stephen Nicolai, 34, said Monday that the harsh realities of the natural world are what inspire him to commit spontaneous acts of brutal sadism. “Nature, red in tooth and claw, destroys without prejudice or regard for feelings, and since I am at one with nature, so too shall I,” said Nicolai as he flattened a tree frog with a ball-peen hammer. “When I witness the awesome force of a tsunami, or the shift of a tectonic plate, or even a kitten mercilessly taunting its prey before eating it, I know that I am in harmony with nature.” Nicolai said he has found peace through his ritual animal torture and vicious braining of random passersby.