Man Buys Wife Gun In Case She Ever Needs To Protect Herself From Him

PITTSBURGH—Stressing that the weapon could very well save her life one day, local man Vincent Greer reportedly bought his wife Nicole Greer a gun Thursday in case she ever needed to protect herself from him. “Call me paranoid, but I just don’t trust myself,” said Vincent Greer, who noted that while he prayed Nicole would never have to use the weapon, it was important that she learn how to fire the pistol in the event he were ever to do his worst. “I know it makes you nervous, but there are all kinds of crazy people in this world, including me. What if I’m out late working one night, and when I do come home, I’m in a terrible mood and take it out on you? I’d never forgive myself if I went to prison for murdering you. You’re fucking listening to me, right?” At press time, reports confirmed the man had made his wife promise she would keep the weapon in the bedroom closet, where, hopefully, she would be able to get to it before he could.