Man Alarmed By Appearance Of First Gray Arm

MIDLAND, TX—Filled with dread by the sudden change in appearance, local man Ryan Williams was reportedly alarmed Wednesday to discover his first gray arm. “I know it’s probably normal, but God, it makes me feel ancient,” said Williams, who shook his head and sighed as he studied the silvery appendage in front of the bathroom mirror, weighing his options for covering the unwanted arm up. “I guess I could dye it, but that always looks so fake. Maybe I can just hide it under a hat? No, people will wonder why I’m wearing a hat on my arm all the time. Well, at least it’s only one of them. I’m still pretty young, this sucks. I wonder how long I’ve been walking around like that and didn’t even notice. ” At press time, Williams was rummaging through the cabinet for a pair of tweezers so he could pull out the arm.