Lord Of Darkness Feeling Burnt Out By Repetitive Cycle Of Rising To Power, Being Defeated By Chosen One, Rising Again

THREE SEAS KINGDOM—Discouraged by his seeming lack of progress, the Lord of Darkness confirmed Friday that he was feeling burnt out by the repetitive cycle of rising to power, being defeated by the Chosen One, and rising again. “I mean, yeah, the entire land is blanketed in evil now, but how long until another prophecy comes out and I’m back to square one, attempting to rise from the ashes in some backwater black bog?” said the 708-year-old ancient sorcerer, who described his quest for total dominion over the realm as “one step forward, two steps back,” adding that he understood the Chosen One wasn’t in a perfect position either, given that the teenager was continually being reborn and forced to fight an eternal nemesis. “Is this all there is to life? Rise again, be defeated, rise again? I know I should just look at it as a meditation on how you do what you do because you love it, but it’s getting really hard. I’m just scared I’m going to lose my drive for perpetuating evil. Sometimes, I feel like a nobody of darkness. Anyway, I’m really just venting. I know I can’t quit. I’ve been reading a lot about inherited trauma lately.” At press time, the Lord of Darkness had reportedly lain down for a nap.