Lindsey Graham Bursts Into Confirmation Hearing With Rifle, Demands Senators Free The Children Now

WASHINGTON—Sending frightened lawmakers and staffers scattering for the exit, Lindsey Graham (R-SC) reportedly burst into Ketanji Brown Jackson’s Supreme Court confirmation hearing Thursday brandishing a rifle and demanding that the senators free the children now. “Where are they? I know you’re hiding them,” said Graham, who moved from dais to dais pointing the barrel of his gun under the platform and shouting, “Aha!” before shooting open a locked door only to discover a small, empty office. “Are they in the Senate basement? I know there are secret tunnels, I read about it online! I won’t let you get away with this. I have evidence Hillary Clinton has been here. Can you hear me, kids? I’m coming for you.” At press time, Josh Hawley (R-MO) created a Twitter thread calling the incident a false-flag operation.