Leaked Documents Reveal CIA Secretly Flooded White Communities With Vegetables

WASHINGTON—Confirming long-held theories of produce-smuggling among U.S.-backed guerillas in Central America, a series of leaked documents revealed Wednesday that a covert CIA operation flooded white communities with vegetables in the 1980s. “These records show concrete evidence that the CIA intentionally allowed wholesome, vitamin-rich vegetables to circulate through white communities across the United States,” said a CIA whistleblower who spoke on condition of anonymity, explaining that intelligence officials operated with complete disregard for the healthy lifestyles they were unleashing upon Caucasian Americans, many of whom were soon hooked on the highly nutritious foods. “CIA assets in Nicaragua trafficked in leafy greens like spinach, romaine, and arugula, selling them in disproportionately white neighborhoods in the U.S. and using the money to fund the Contras. Soon you couldn’t drive more than a few blocks through the suburbs without passing a place where you could buy fresh peas, carrots, or broccoli. We’ll never know the full scale of the health benefits this conferred upon an entire generation of white people.” According to the documents, this operation continued for years, until the CIA finally realized it would be easier to just allow illegal drug networks to distribute crack in Black communities.