North Korean president Kim Jong Il recently named his 25-year-old son Kim Jong Un as the nation’s next leader. What qualifications does Kim’s youngest son bring with him?
Has 8 million pre-painted portraits of himself ready to distribute to the populace at a moment’s notice
Displayed a complete disregard for U.N. resolutions from a very early age
Pretty good friends with Putin’s kids
Has two nonfunctional but symbolic iron fists grafted onto his arms
Projects a powerful authoritarian air over his countrymen by appearing adequately nourished
Shares two out of three names with arguably the greatest leader in Far East Asian history
Has shown a lifelong, devoted lack of interest in behaving normally in any way
Is able to slap people across the face effectively with either hand
On the day of Jong Un’s birth, all farmers reaped twice as much from the earth, the rivers overflowed with carp, and the lapping ocean waves murmured the new leader’s name
