LEXINGTON, KY—University of Kentucky freshman Amy Austin demanded defensive end Ventrell Jenkins explain “what’s so great” about the AutoZone Liberty Bowl before she would consent to participate in sexual intercourse with him, sources reported Monday.
“Technically, it’s not the championship, but it’s a lot like a championship,” Austin’s suitemates overheard Jenkins say. “Trust me. It was an important game.” Jenkins also reportedly told the coed a trophy was awarded for the victory, and that this validated the game’s significance. “With the BCS, there’s not just one winner,” he continued. “We’re all winners in, like, diverse ways. It’s hard to explain, but there was confetti and shit. We’re the 2009 AutoZone Liberty Bowl champs…. Hey, come here.” Austin reportedly put her clothes back on and left the room when Jenkins accidentally mentioned that Notre Dame had also played in a bowl game this year.
