Coach, Denver Broncos
Strength: Product of the famed Jim Fassel coaching tree
Weaknesses: Can’t win without all-time great like Peyton Manning or Jake Delhomme; Struggles in cold-weather coaching conditions; Requires new aortic valve replacement two to three times per game; Deaf and mute
Skill: Quick, elegant coaching mechanics
Style: Perplexed oaf
Embarrassing Secret: Thought it was called “line of spinach” until just last year
Job He Would Have If He Wasn’t An NFL Head Coach: Assistant head coach
Coaching Philosophy: West Coast nihilist
Goals: Headset that actually plugs in
