Jimmy Carter Completes 4-Minute Mile

PLAINS, GA—Pumping his fists in the air while racing across the finish line, former President Jimmy Carter reportedly ran a four-minute mile Thursday. “I took up jogging right around the time I entered hospice care because the doctors thought it would be good for my health,” said Carter, who attributed his ability to achieve a time most often associated with elite runners to his habits of staying hydrated and making sure he stretched his 98-year-old body before every run to avoid soreness and injury. “You can see from this physique that all the ultramarathons I’ve been doing are really starting to pay off. I feel good, I look good, and I’m out here rocking and rolling every day, absolutely smoking everyone else in the 90-to-100 age bracket.” According to reports, Carter celebrated his first-place finish at the Plains, GA 1-Mile Fun Run by performing a backflip for the cheering crowd.