Jeb Bush Inching Podium Closer To Center Of Stage During Commercial Breaks

BOULDER, CO—Speculating that he might be nudging it just a tiny bit with his foot or something, Americans viewing Wednesday’s Republican presidential debate said that candidate Jeb Bush appeared to be inching his podium closer to the center of the stage during the commercial breaks. “I definitely don’t think he was standing that close to the middle before,” said Phoenix resident Jim Rawson, adding that over the course of four commercial breaks, it seemed as if Bush had closed the gap between himself and the center-stage candidates by at least a foot. “I mean, I’m not imagining this, am I?” At press time, Bush was hastily dragging his podium to its original spot after audibly scraping it against that of fellow candidate Ben Carson.