All of America is talking about comedian Ellen DeGeneres, whose television character on ABC’s Ellen may reveal herself to be a lesbian this season. What do you think?
“Ellen DeGeneres? More like Ellen
Alison Landsman • Bank Manager
“I’ve suspected her character was gay ever since that episode where she ferociously ate out that secretary.”
Don Steffens • Limnologist
“Thanks to Ellen and Melissa Etheridge, a valuable lesson has been learned: Gay people can be just as mediocre and untalented as straights.”
Kevin Byrne • Receptionist
“I think that whatever anyone does behind closed doors is his or her own business, unless the kangaroo’s bleating keeps the neighbors up at night.”
Acker Bilk • Systems Analyst
“Everybody here at the ABC women’s rugby team knows Ellen quite well, and I can assure you there’s no truth to those rumors.”
Kelly Howe • Groundskeeper
“Forget Ellen—have you heard the rumor that that guy on
Andy LaPointe • Stockbroker
