Investigative Reporter Ruins Fish Sticks For Everybody

BOSTON—According to the paper’s readers, a report on commercial seafood-processing practices published in Tuesday’s Boston Globe has ruined fish sticks for everyone. “I used to love a big plate of fish sticks,” mechanic Barney Rosetti said. “Not anymore, thanks to Steve Nelsen. Did he really have to use the part about emulsified scales and flash-frozen offal slurry? Thanks a lot, asshole.” Readers have declared a two-day boycott of the Globe, timed to coincide with Nelsen’s report on precisely what constitutes “breading” under current law.