ICE Agents Feeling A Little Hurt That Trump Doesn’t Think They’re Doing Enough To Terrorize Hispanics

FLORENCE, AZ—Saying they’d like to see the National Guard try to do a better job, thousands of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents told reporters Thursday that it kind of hurts their feelings to know President Trump doesn’t think they’re doing enough to terrorize Hispanic people. “He must not understand just how hard we work to ensure that anybody who looks even vaguely Mexican gets nervous when they go out in public around here,” said Arizona-based ICE agent Blake Shearer, who added that it feels “pretty shitty” to “bust [his] ass” every day, dragging people out of schools and hospitals, only to have the president conclude the work he and his colleagues are doing just isn’t cutting it. “What more does this guy want? For God’s sake, I deported a U.S. Army veteran yesterday. How many mothers do we have to pull away from screaming children before he says, ‘Hey, guys, great job’? I’m happy to keep doing this regardless, but a little recognition would be nice.” Members of ICE’s Enforcement and Removal Operations went on to state that they are human beings like everyone else and deserve to be treated with a basic level of dignity and respect.