‘I Said Do It,’ Barks Cheesecake Factory CEO As Hesitant Chefs Hold Whole Fried Chicken Over Bowl Of Chocolate Pudding

CALABASAS HILLS, CA—Rushing into action immediately upon seeing the first signs of hesitation, The Cheesecake Factory CEO David Overton angrily demanded a test kitchen chef dunk a whole fried chicken into a nearby bowl of chocolate pudding, sources confirmed Wednesday. “I said put that Alfredo-drizzled fried chicken into the pudding right goddamn now—or did you not fucking hear me, Gary?” said Overton, screaming at the visibly terrified chef that if the chicken was not glistening with double-fudge sauce in the next five seconds, he could get the hell out of his sight and never come back. “You don’t get to tell me whether topping this dish off with smothered pepper jack sauce and maraschino cherries is wrong or right. Just make it fucking happen. Inside The Cheesecake Factory headquarters, I am God! Understand? God!” At press time, a power-mad Overton had wrested the chicken from the chef’s shaking hands, thrown him to the ground, and began cackling as he lowered the chicken into the bowl himself.