Human Trafficker Not Getting Any Traction On This One

ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA—Explaining that he’s been advertising the girl for months now without getting so much as a nibble from prospective buyers, local human trafficker Cheslav Prokopyev told reporters Thursday that he just hasn’t been able to get any traction on this one. “Man, I’m really starting to worry Natalia was a lousy investment,” Prokopyev said of the 13-year-old girl he kidnapped with plans to sell into sexual slavery, expressing disappointment that he had done all the work of transporting her across international borders, cleaning and fixing her up, and harboring her in his secret warehouse only for her to sit there unsold for months. “I’ve managed to sell all the girls I acquired during my trip to Moldova last year except her. It sucks, because I’m hemorrhaging money on upkeep and, at this point, I’m not even sure I can recoup my costs. I’ve tried hitting up my connections in Abu Dhabi and Bangladesh and offering her at a huge discount, but no one, not even the sweatshop people, has expressed any interest.” Prokopyev added that he was considering reaching out to his friends in the organ-harvesting industry to see if she could at least be scrapped for parts.