How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:


STEP 1

Esteemed MPAA executives get together for a viewing of Paddington 2, The Lego Batman Movie, and Saw: Legacy


STEP 2

Board member revived with smelling salts after protagonist utters the term “motherfucker”


STEP 3

Cohort of children under 17 are exposed to the film and then studied for a decade to observe potentially adverse effects over time


STEP 4

Dismembered torsos in scene 36 examined for any obscene nipple exposure


STEP 5

White smoke billows from highest window of MPAA headquarters, indicating to the expectant crowd below that a rating has been chosen


STEP 6

Director immediately rails against the selected rating in order to secure a juicy anecdote for DVD’s audio commentary track


STEP 7

Intrepid preteens duck into illicit theater right after tickets checked