Betsy DeVos was confirmed by a 51-50 Senate vote Tuesday to run the Department of Education. Here’s how President Trump’s controversial cabinet pick plans to change the nation’s education policy:
Relax unrealistically strict standards for secretary of education
Modify Title IX to allow invisible hand of the market to sort out any student rape cases that may arise
Identify at-risk students and do nothing whatsoever
Ensure that all students, regardless of background, receive the opportunity to bask in the shining light of Christ
Let low-income parents choose which one of their children gets to go to school
Create emergency vocational program for cabinet members who lack proficiency and are way out of their depth
Place power for establishing gym class floor hockey rules back in states’ hands where it belongs
Require free- and reduced-lunch recipients to prostrate themselves before the principal at mealtimes
Steer tax dollars away from failing, fundamentally defective public school students
