Hospital Holding Back Extra Coronavirus Test Kit In Case Josh Duhamel Needs One

BLOOMINGTON, IN—Bracing for what could be the worst of the coronavirus outbreak ahead, Monroe General Hospital was reportedly holding back an extra COVID-19 test kit Friday in case actor Josh Duhamel needed one. “This pandemic is forcing us to make hard choices, but Josh Duhamel should know the instant he feels even slightly tired, there’s a coronavirus test kit at Monroe Hospital with his name on it,” said Dr. Jenna Hofer, who noted medical staff weren’t confident the Transformers star was even near Indiana, but were following procedures to prepare for a worst-case scenario. “The second Josh Duhamel needs a ventilator, we’re ripping it straight off of an old person. We, as doctors, took an oath to protect Josh Duhamel. It would be a great failure of the practice of medicine if the man who played former marine Danny McCoy on NBC’s Las Vegas wasn’t able to receive a coronavirus test kit. We’re also working with physicians across the country to reserve hospital beds in the event Josh requires a test while traveling.” At press time, doctors were rushing to administer a COVID-19 testing kit to a guy who kind of looked like Brendan Fraser.