You’ve been through a lot of trying times in your life, but one of the hardest to get over will be the day you learn that Jar-Jar is now a senator.
It may be years before your coworkers treat you with respect again, but it will have been worth it for the brief time spent in the panda suit.
The gods will punish you for your hubris and arrogance by introducing you to someone who makes richer, creamier mashed potatoes than you.
As you look back on your life as a squirrel, your only regret is that you let others discourage you from pursuing your dream of waterskiing professionally.
You will be upgraded with improved graphics and greater ease of use, but processor speed remains a problem.
Awesome forces beyond your control will continue to cause pictures and sounds to emanate from your TV.
The stars foresee profound changes ahead for Libra, but they insist on describing them in vague, non-specific terms.
As the June issue of
Your fear of being assassinated is groundless. Important figures are assassinated; you will be beaten to death with a rake behind the Safeway.
You’ve tried and tried, but there seems to be no way for you to safely extricate yourself from the welded-on one-man-band outfit.
Advocates for the homeless will soon make you a very tempting membership offer
You can’t, for the life of you, understand why nobody sees through Drew Barrymore’s obvious façade.
