You will be gripped by the delusional suspicion that all of your closest friends on TV are actually just actors in some far-off studio.
Your refusal to observe the dress code at work may soon get you fired. Perhaps you should admit that one doesn’t need a suit and tie to wash dishes.
You will be forced to leave the army in disgrace when it is discovered that you never enlisted and are not actually a soldier.
Further FAA investigation of the airplane’s black box will still be unable to detect anything but your off-key whistling of “O Canada.”
Take some time out for yourself this week. Two or three minutes will do, as you really aren’t worth much more.
You will gain insight into an exciting new dimension, thanks to a pair of red-and-blue-lensed cardboard spectacles.
That spare tire around your midsection isn’t going away by itself. Invest in a quality set of tire irons.
You will be devastated when a
The end is in sight. Only one final step remains before you can truly be called a martyr.
Though you are a drug czar, you are not, in fact, Barry McCaffrey, the official U.S. drug czar.
There is not a person alive who can’t beat you at tic-tac-toe.
The stars see great tragedy in your future, unless you become more generous with contributions to the Zodiac Widows & Orphans Fund.
