Heroic Bystander Talks Knife-Wielding Man Down To Fistfight

NEW YORK—In what witnesses described as an act of selfless bravery, a heroic bystander talked a knife-wielding man down to a fistfight, sources confirmed Wednesday. “Hey, man, why don’t you put the knife down and settle this thing with just your fists,” the courageous passerby was heard to say when he spotted a man who pulled a knife on a drunk bar patron. “Before you do anything you’ll regret, let’s think this through, okay? Violence with a knife isn’t the answer. Let’s take a deep breath and start winding up an uppercut instead. Plus, there will be a lot less of a mess.” At press time, the bystander had reportedly continued his heroic ways when he talked a woman about to throw herself off a bridge down to merely cutting herself instead.