Helpful HR Email Offers Employees Tips For Ignoring Mental Health

OAKLAND—Emphasizing that the staff’s output and productivity were of the utmost importance to management at this time, employees at tech company SeedFund confirmed Friday that HR had sent them a helpful email offering tips for ignoring their mental health. “During these trying times, if you’re ever feeling psychologically overwhelmed or suffering from crippling anxiety, the best thing you can do is push those thoughts deep, deep, down inside of yourself and never let them come out again,” read the email sent by head of HR Christina Hunt, which also provided useful tips for suppressing warning signs, as well a hotline employees could call if they wanted to quit because they just couldn’t handle it anymore. “In many ways, the novel coronavirus is the biggest challenge the world has ever faced, which is why we encourage our employees to put their nose to the grindstone and power through it instead of coming to us like a bunch of whiny babies. Again, if you need any additional resources to deal with childcare, spousal care, or medical emergencies, don’t bother reaching out to us because we absolutely cannot and will not accommodate them.” At press time, HR had reportedly sent out a follow-up email announcing that dozens of employees would immediately have their contracts terminated.