Guests At Housewarming Party Conduct Full Financial Audit After Seeing Friend’s Apartment Fucking Huge

SAN DIEGO, CA—Launching a thorough investigation shortly upon entering the event, guests at a housewarming party for local woman Adelaide Talbot reportedly conducted a full financial audit Wednesday after seeing that her apartment was fucking huge. “The probe was automatically triggered after we began the tour and realized she had a third goddamn bedroom,” said guest Grant Lee, telling reporters that he and fellow attendees had made a full inventory of electronics and furniture as well as the drinks and snacks provided for guests in an effort to determine their host’s economic situation. “I know she’s a junior exec at an ad agency so she’s making decent money, but that still doesn’t explain how she could afford a place so close to downtown with two separate balconies and gym access unless she has significant savings from a previous job or some sort of unreported cash flow.” At press time, the group had successfully concluded the audit after remembering Talbot’s parents were fucking loaded.