‘Guess That Makes Him Or Her Some Kind Of American Hero, Huh?’ Says Supreme Court Leaker Discussing News With Coworkers

WASHINGTON—Carefully watching their faces to gauge reactions, the Supreme Court employee responsible for the leaked draft opinion reportedly said, “Guess that makes him or her some kind of American hero, huh?” while discussing the news with coworkers Tuesday. “Wow, to take a stand like that, that requires some major cojones, doesn’t it?” said the leaker, who was seen attempting to assume a casual, relaxed posture as they broached the subject with a small cluster of clerks gathered in the office kitchen. “And the fact that they’re staying silent about it, that’s even more courageous. I’m not mad about it. Are you mad about it? What a cool guy. Or girl! So, any guesses?” At press time, sources reported the leaker had accidentally shattered their mug of coffee on the floor after spotting Justice Alito walking by.