Grandpa Surprisingly Willing To Talk About Man He Killed

HERMISTON, OR—As the elderly patriarch spoke of his experiences in the Vietnam War, sources confirmed Monday that Grandpa was surprisingly willing to talk about the man he killed. “Usually war vets will hold it close to the chest and not want to explain anything, but Grandpa Steve was just going on and on matter-of-factly about seeing an enemy soldier and blowing his head off,” said the man’s grandson Ben Legand, adding that his grandfather had been typically quiet all afternoon until a conversation about Asian food apparently gave him enough of an opening to go into great detail about killing a Vietnamese soldier. “He didn’t even mutter ‘War is hell’ or look off into the distance or anything like that. He just explained how he shot the guy in the face at close range. Mom even started saying something about him not having to talk about it if it bothered him, but he just breezed right on through and kept telling us about the day he killed the man who looked to be his own age. The detail he went into was actually pretty graphic, and although it didn’t sound like he enjoyed it, he clearly didn’t seem to regret it. Honestly, I think it’s the longest conversation we’ve ever had.” At press time, increasingly horrified sources added that Grandpa was shockingly willing to talk about the women and children he killed, too.