Grandma Eyes Accessibility Ramp With Intensity Of Daredevil About To Jump Grand Canyon

CHARLESTON, SC—Squinting her eyes, exhaling, and whispering “it’s go time” while staring up the shallow incline, local grandmother Clarice Levine eyed the accessibility ramp to her assisted living facility Tuesday with the intensity of a daredevil about to jump the Grand Canyon. “Oh, baby, this is it, this is what we’ve been training for all these years and today is the day,” said the 86-year-old, who adjusted her diaper, gripped her walker, and slapped her face one last time before deciding to risk it all on one final, death-defying stunt. “Just remember, one wrong move and you’re done for. Hey, everybody! If I don’t come back, tell my husband I love him. Fuck it, here we go. And three…two…one…see you on the other side!” At press time, Levine made it two steps up the ramp before toppling over, falling directly on her hip, and instantly shattering 17 bones.