Onion Public Radio, Podcasts Graduation Speech Suggests Valedictorian Is Pregnant Published: May 31, 2006 Advertising Bush Seals Seized Records Continued on next page Explore Tags Vol 42: Issue 22 Related Coverage The Final Episode Of The Topical Papa John’s Comes Under Fire For Cruel Treatment Of The Bulbous, Deformed Creatures That Lactate Pizza Sauce Scientists Warn Americans To Stay Away From That Bird