Going To Bed Last Thing Tempurpedic CEO Wants To Think About After Long Day At Work

LEXINGTON, KY—Having spent his past 12 hours embroiled in the daily struggle to bring a relaxing sleep to customers nationwide, Tempurpedic CEO Scott L. Thompson told reporters Wednesday that the last thing he wanted to think about after an exhausting workday was going to bed. “Honestly, after a long day overseeing the production and marketing of ultra-comfortable mattresses, sheets, pillows, and other sleep systems, the last thing I want to do is lie down anywhere, let alone on a bed,” said Thompson, adding that the thought of becoming horizontal or covering himself with fabric puts him on edge after spending an afternoon analyzing the benefits of materials designed to conform to your body and provide custom, cool-to-the-touch comfort. “All day, we’re talking about back support and pressure relief, and then my wife says I have to to come to bed? Sorry, honey. Right now, my Sleep Number is zero.” Thompson further stated he was planning on spending most of the night fully clothed in a standing position.