,

Frustrated Hospital Worker Rounds Up Gurneys Patients Failed To Put in Parking Lot Corrals

COLUMBUS, OH—Grumbling under her breath about the lack of consideration for others, Riverside Methodist Hospital worker Deborah LaBrunda expressed frustration Thursday while rounding up gurneys that patients had left scattered across the parking lot after failing to put them in the corrals where they belonged. “How hard is it to walk 15 feet and return your gurney after you’ve been wheeled out to your car?” said LaBrunda, explaining that even though the parking lot had plenty of conveniently placed gurney corrals, many patients refused to make use of them. “People are so lazy. They just leave their stretchers right out there where they can roll into a parked car or cause an accident. Sometimes the wind blows them all the way to the far end of the lot, and whether it’s raining or 10 degrees below zero, I still have to go out and get them.” LaBrunda added that during a deadly pandemic, people should at least have the courtesy to wipe down their gurneys after each use, but she said many of those she rolled back into the hospital were “a sticky mess.”




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper