Friends So Grateful To Have Morally Perfect Woman Around To Correct Them

BOSTON—Questioning what they would do without her profound guidance, friends of local 33-year-old Taylor Huntsman reportedly expressed deep gratitude Wednesday for having the morally perfect woman around to correct them. “It’s incredible that whenever we falter, even in the slightest, we have Taylor—a person who has never made a single mistake in her life—to set us right,” said Alexis Pearson, adding that Taylor’s boundless generosity with her perfected world view meant she would frequently offer to chime in and explain in great detail what mistakes her friends had made and why they were bad people for doing what they had done. “What’s even more impressive is that she attained perfection at such a young age. The rest of us flawed vessels can only bow before her unimpeachable moral insight on where we’ve gone wrong with our love lives, voting decisions, and beliefs on any number of issues ranging from religion to gender. Thankfully, she repeats her advice many times, or else lesser beings like us would probably never understand its incredible depths.” At press time, the close acquaintances added that the ethically flawless woman’s husband must feel especially lucky to always have her around.