Florida Board Of Education Bans Any Mention Of Outside World

TALLAHASSEE, FL—In an effort to keep the state’s students from being exposed to inappropriate content, the Florida Board of Education announced Monday that it had banned any mention of the outside world. “Starting immediately, teachers are forbidden from acknowledging that anything exists other than the state of Florida,” said Manny Diaz Jr., Florida commissioner of education, adding that any staff members who reference any people or places subsisting past the borders will be immediately terminated and face legal consequences. “All students will learn that Florida makes up the entire Earth and that when anyone attempts to leave the state, they disappear forever into an endless abyss. Every morning at school, the children will stand and say the pledge of allegiance to Florida, the best, richest, most powerful, and only state in this great country, the United State of Florida.” Diaz continued that all of the state’s history textbooks would also be updated to reflect that Florida was discovered in 2019 by its first great leader, Ron DeSantis.