Federal Security Breaches

Last week, it was reported that federal investigators carrying fake law-enforcement credentials were able to penetrate security at 21 government buildings, including the Pentagon, CIA, FBI, and Justice Department. What do you think about these alarming security breaches?


“As a terrorist, I say the public release of this report detailing specific security flaws in key federal buildings is a positive first step.”

Ahmed al Assan • Terrorist

“I was once able to infiltrate security at an exclusive Miami beach club by posing as a Federal Bikini Inspector.”

Mike Hoyle • Landscaper

“This report is just another excuse by Big Brother in Washington to curb our personal liberties and create a police state to, uh, to… whoa, man, I am

Todd Cudahy • Clerk

“I bet I could be an FBI agent. No, wait–not ’be,’ ’kill.’”

Carol Christiansen • Homemaker

“Federal security’s not as bad as they say. I haven’t gotten into the Lincoln Bedroom yet.”

Max Arledge • Systems Analyst

“The government hasn’t been secure since Nancy Reagan took away its little blue blankie back in 1984.”

Denise Petry • Psychologist