Apple unveiled Monday its first-ever augmented-reality headset, which will begin retailing next year. The Onion looks at the specs and cool features of the Apple Vision Pro.
Seamless “Your iCloud storage is full” pop-up experience.
Hands-free to allow you to easily scroll on your iPhone.
Tailpipe for toxic exhaust.
Anti-theft PIN code melts wearer’s face after three failed login attempts.
360-degree infrared sensors notify user when nearby people are laughing at them.
Cupertino weather updates.
High-resolution screen lets user easily watch movies and TV from the comfort of their couch.
Spurts pus.
Up to two minutes of battery life.
An opportunity to experience the joy that only comes from it seeming like your boss and coworkers are inside your house.
