,

Experts Worried Students Will Fall Behind After Spending Past Year In U.S. Education System

WASHINGTON—Admitting concerns that the full ramifications could never be reversed, experts reportedly voiced their worries Wednesday that students would fall behind after spending the past year in the U.S. education system. “We’re talking an entire year of critical intellectual and social development just completely down the tubes thanks to the system of American public education,” said Miguel Cardona, U.S. secretary of education, adding that many experts had feared the worst as early as last March when it became clear that students would be spending weeks and months feeling the impact of the U.S. education system directly. “With the lack of funding and dearth of support systems, we just weren’t ready to deal with the exigencies and impact of U.S. education for a full year. We’re seeing students who are socially maladjusted, who don’t have basic math and writing skills, who feel like they don’t have a future. That’s why we’ve kept beating the drum that we have to do whatever it takes to get kids out of this spiral of U.S. education.” Experts added that should something like the past year happen again, they would need to take measures to avoid failing students like they had over the past history of American education.




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper