Executive On Deathbed Requests Obituary Be Optimized For SEO

NEW YORK—Motioning for his family to come closer so they could hear his final wishes, corporate executive Roland Drexler reportedly requested on his deathbed Monday that his obituary be optimized for SEO. “After I’m gone, I’ll need you to make sure the notice of my death ranks high in organic search results on Google and Bing,” said Drexler, who emphasized the need to optimize his obituary for viewability by using keywords like “visionary” and “leader,” and perhaps a few terms that would piggyback off current events, such as the war in Ukraine, high gas prices, and NCAA basketball. “Make sure this short account of my life and accomplishments generates the kind of qualified traffic that I want to be remember for. Should be at least 1,600 words, and maybe even make it a slideshow to cash in on that click-through rate.” At press time, sources confirmed Drexler had passed away, and his obituary, “You’ll Never Believe What This CEO Looks Like Now,” was trending on social media.