Evil Hong Kong Kung-Fu Legions Petition For Right To Attack Two At A Time

VICTORIA, HONG KONG–The Red Dragon Legion, a union representing Hong Kong’s 22 largest evil kung-fu goon squads, formally petitioned the Hong Kong action-film industry Monday to lift its long-term ban on dual-attacking in fights against the forces of good. “We feel it is both reasonable and fair to permit evil henchmen to pair up, attacking the hero two at a time,” the petition read. The union cited a study which found that from 1989 to 1997, 100 percent of diabolical armies who took on lone heroes in a single-file fashion were defeated.