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European Debt Crisis Solutions

As the debt crisis continues to batter Europe’s finances, many countries, including Greece, Spain, and Italy, have been forced to impose severe austerity measures. Here are some of the efforts being taken to tighten budgets:

Austria: $5 surcharge every time anyone in the world watches The Sound Of Music

Italy: Suspending all sewage and trash pickup services, effective 1993

Greece: Government to lay off thousands of government-employed antigovernment protesters

The Netherlands: Releasing part two of Anne Frank’s diary

Finland: Increasing one of those European-sounding taxes, like the GATT, or the VAT, or the SCRAT, or whatever

Andorra: Tourism board charged with really getting the word out there about Andorra.

Poland: World War II–related tours now cost the usual price plus whatever is in one’s pockets and also that watch

Portugal: Quietly breaking away from Spain in the middle of the night and floating across the Atlantic in search of a better life

Germany: Subtly reminding the rest of Europe what happened last time they faced hyperinflation