EPA Unveils Plan To Improve Conditions For Nation’s Sludge

WASHINGTON—In an effort to reverse the adverse effects caused by years of neglect, the Environmental Protection Agency unveiled a plan Friday to drastically improve conditions for the nation’s sludge. “Our new set of stewardship initiatives will ensure the speedy restoration of sludge in ecosystems all across the country,” said EPA administrator Scott Pruitt, explaining that the public and private sectors would collaborate on the massive, nationwide undertaking in urban and rural areas to set aside rivers, lakes, and ditches where the fetid, virulent slurry can spread out and roam free. “Whether it’s the byproduct of sewage treatment, petroleum refining, or common industrial runoff, we are committed to a long-term conservation effort to provide sanctuaries for sludge of all kinds while also putting controls in place for sludge to continue flourishing unharmed. Our nation’s precious sludge is some of the best in the world, and it’s up to us to keep it that way.” Pruitt went on to say that the preservation of the country’s sludge will require the active participation of all Americans, and he was more than confident that they would rise to the occasion.