The government recently expanded its abstinence-only message to include adults. They have used the following strategies to encourage men and women to abstain from sex:
Launching nationwide initiative to end boredom
Starting 24-hour hotline they can call anytime the urge to have sex strikes; $2.99 a minute
Suggesting that at any moment their parents could walk in
Reinstating Prohibition
Convincing Al Green to record “No Need To Rush It, Baby”
Encouraging them to explore gay sex, because everyone knows sex only counts if it’s between man and woman
Lowering volume in bars so people are forced to actually get to know each other
Leading by example
