Dying Dad Wondering If You Hit Traffic On Way To Hospital

BETHLEHEM, PA—Pausing between each labored word as his family gathered around him, local dying dad Phil Piermont was reportedly wondering Wednesday if you hit traffic on your way to the hospital. “Did you take 22? It’s a little congested by the exit, right?” said your father, taking a deep breath to push through the pain and suggest you take the earlier exit unless it was after 8 p.m. “What did it take? Twenty minutes? Twenty-five? Those navigation apps never send you the right directions. Hold on. They always assume the highway is the fastest. Come closer. Please tell me you won’t get caught in that mess on 191 on the way home.” At press time, reports confirmed your dad had asked you to look after your mother and make sure she remembered to get her parking validated.